Title: The next time
Fandom: Naruto
Characters: Jiraiya, Tsunade
Rating: Yellow
Genre: Introspective, sad
Notes:
Shodaime Hokage : First Hokage
Sensei: teacher
Tsunade-hime: princess Tsunade
Ame Village: Village of the Rain
Jutsu: Technique
Akatsuki: Akatsuki
So had to go back and she was waiting for him, even an idiot like he could understand it.
For many years he had waited until the next time , on his return, he would have made the right occasion.
Even Jiraiya was so stupid to ruin it.
And maybe if she had been with me now I would be married. If I were ... but I've never been so in short, come on, now I'm here! Want to tell me happy even though deep down I never was. Satisfied with what?! But that's okay, although sometimes I'm wrong ...
Next time
"Nice, my name is Jiraiya! For the love letters we calmly afterwards! Very pleased!"
Tsunade was a little girl proud. Since he had acquired his reason, his grandfather and parents had done nothing more than to list the reasons to be: should be proud to belong to the family of Shodaime Hokage, proud to live in Konoha, its beauty and ability, to be output from ' Academy with excellent grades ... by dint of praise, pride was rooted in her becoming an integral part of his character. Fair and stubborn, carefully selected their friends, not that behaves like a snob, indeed, had always been kind to the children in difficulty: he even tried to bond with quell'Orochimaru, so pale, quiet and isolated by all. Was limited to avoid like the plague the braggarts, the arrogant and those who made so much noise, such as swelling toads, when in fact they were not anybody.
Jiraiya seemed to belong to that group: who is believed to be for those modes and use that tone with a girl who knew?
"I doubt you can read and write." replied acid. The smile slipped off the face of the child as if it were dissolved, contrary to the eyes of Orochimaru, who was to be bored, came to life for a moment, while thin and bloodless lips twitched into a grin. The new sensei coughed to recall the order.
"And anyway, I'm Tsunade." added, just to oblige.
hated that kind of presentation: it was terribly embarrassing and it seemed that the sensei is expected at any moment a triple declaration of eternal friendship just because they had the misfortune to end up in the same team. Tsunade does not like that laid bare their feelings, especially with those who did not know: proud as he was, the others were waiting to be exposed.
After the conversation, the sensei gave them instructions about the appointment of the following day for exercise, no doubt distracted, angry Jiraiya sat cross-legged, elbows on his knees and his chin in his hands. Tsunade avoided looking at him: perhaps he was exaggerating, but he would never lowered to apologize. Noticing his discomfort, the boy changed his expression: arrogant, jumped up points against the index.
"I wonder who thinks he is, but you're only a mussel flat as a board I bet I'll be better than you in the exercise!" said, so unexpectedly startled by them all three. What child
stupid and childish! Erect in all his stature and puffed out his chest in an unnatural manner, as if to flaunt her breasts that he had not, the girl accepted the challenge.
would not have lowered the ridge in front of such a blowhard, and his pride prevented her to renege on a word.
Without that no one understood the reason, the sensei chuckled.
had begun as his mania for gambling, then get in the game against the case, the risk involved and the resulting adrenaline never sated. Unable to accept defeat, he stared at his opponent with pride and sought revenge, sooner or later would have savored the taste of victory. Although the gain was nothing compared to the actual loss, the important thing was to win and save his face.
His career as a gambler was playing with a landslide victory; while waving the bell in front of Jiraiya's nose, attached to the pole like a sausage, was certain that fortune would never have abandoned. In reality, distorted and deformed that filtered through the pride felt there was no place for a single word of the sermon to Sarutobi-sensei, which states that it was better to lose some bets.
claimed were work, as if in front of Jiraiya could talk about cooperation. Orochimaru was a very unusual type, but at least showed seriousness, but Jiraiya had done nothing but scream, lead the blind shots and propose plans in which he covered more and more active and demanding role, although he was not able. That baby's ridiculous!
On the way home if he found himself on the side.
"Hey, Tsunade-hime !" he yelled, giving it that title in a tone of derision.
"We have already untied?" he is addressed, with equal contempt.
The boy did not answer with his hands behind his head adapting his own pace, then naturally ask if he went home.
"What do you care?"
"Like this .."
The girl quickened the pace, hoping to sow the silence was the most effective way to get rid of pests. Jiraiya the trotting side, whistling, rubbing her feet, muttering phrases left half and resorting to every trick he knew to be noticed. Eventually pulled from his pocket a piece of candy that had crushed all the air of having been forgotten there for a month.
"I took it because when Sarutobi-sensei told us not to eat I immediately knew there was something underneath.'m Smart, I am!" boasted, tapping his chest. With false nonchalance gave it to him, but Tsunade continued to ignore
"If you do not want you, I'll give it to Orochimaru." the threat, after taking the outstretched hand in vain for several minutes.
"Do as you like." cut short, at least it would go. Been inconsistent, the child is stuck in the soft mouth, but did not cease to follow it.
"I can make another bet with you?" he suggested, after thinking it over, attracted by the word as a fly to honey, Tsunade inadvertently raised his head.
"One day I can be your friend!" the challenge.
sarcastic, the stakeholders said with a shrug.
"Winning is all too easy."
"You'll see!"
Jiraiya was stubborn, proud Tsunade: neither of us wanted to lose, but if the stubbornness of the first led him only to overestimate their own ability, the pride of Tsunade underestimated those of others.
"I accept the bet."
As if it were already the victory in hand, Jiraiya smiled at her and had pieces of cake in his teeth.
Collaborate.
Sarutobi-sensei their repeated that word all the time, not realizing what could be difficult to do something like that to a girl proud as Tsunade. Work
amounted to step aside, defeating their personality according to another human being, until it merges with fellow transformed into one, three bodies perfectly coordinated with a brain in common. The Academy argued
old friends thought so because it was over the worst team, according Orochimaru was not wrong at all, but one day would become Jonin and could play the solo missions without brakes, so I might as well put up with. Seeing
speak, Jiraiya had darkened. Tsunade had not reported anything, was the main reason why work became a daily torture and would have died rather than reveal its weaknesses. With haughty air, merely pretend that the imbalance of their formation was dependent exclusively on him as stubborn as a mule, the boy was behaving the same way and every failure becomes a new opportunity to blame each other, insulting. The sensei warned them shaking his head sadly and indulgent egocentric children so they could not understand the meaning of collaboration, with the arrival of hardship and suffering would have been forced to mature, leaving aside their pride staff. Only then would become a true Ninja.
For a whole year, Tsunade had really wondered what he meant, in the meantime had become the most dangerous missions, and although it does not accoorgesse, to save his life he had learned to anticipate the moves of his companions without a word, offsetting own shortcomings in their abilities and vice versa. Denying the evidence, refused to admit it, apparently between her and Jiraiya is always the same relationship of hostility, but astute observers like Orochimaru and Sarutobi you noticed how their disputes are moving away from that definition, becoming playful bickering and accomplices . Specializing in medical, Tsunade cured cuts Comrade fuming, muttering that the other purpose would cause more pain than necessary.
Day after day, fortified his own personality on the wounds of Jiraiya, the boy had resigned before the price to pay, taking his company as a quick reward of suffering endured. Anyone else would have left that crazy business, but his stubbornness was matched only by the pride of Tsunade.
perseverance was rewarded when he was in real danger of life: if Orochimaru did not kill the enemy in his place would not survive the battle. Hearing that story, Tsunade's lips were curved downward, if he lost, maybe it would be failure: their skirmishes and the cheer was so clumsy that ended each time to bring the worst wounds, making her indispensable role on the team.
He would never have imagined, but he was fond of that blowhard.
"Are you okay?" had asked, approaching. Still shaken, the boy nodded in silence. Tsunade had opened her lips to reply, feeling again his face into a grimace. A second later, he left a cold and detached: "Thank Orochimaru."
Often she happened to utter sentences that did not belong; Jiraiya replied with a grunt, not knowing that when he opened his mouth, he intended to say: "I am happy."
He was still time to fix it, but pride, the same as the first had driven back the words in my mouth, held her mouth shut.
If Jiraiya had a little 'brain would understand his intentions, so any future misunderstanding would not have depended on her.
After that he stopped complaining openly about the companion from that painful experience had almost understood what it meant to work together.
He had no idea that the suffering would have been his greatest teacher of life.
Orochimaru and Tsunade had announced several times that after receiving the title of Jonin would carry out missions on their own, abandoning the team that no more that was an unnecessary burden, contrary to their predictions, the three were still together. After years of collaboration had not even need to see: behind a tacit agreement, the team Sarutobi continued to exist even without the guidance of the latter. Even Orochimaru in his rare moments of eloquence unfortunately admitted that he needed them, Jiraiya and Tsunade smiled, having endured his eyes for a split second, I teased her saying that without the treatment would not survive a while, so was forced to stay.
"I almost killed you and claims to be the one to save my life?" he laughed.
Since she grew breasts, titles as 'straight edge' had become meaningless, so Jiraiya had decided to replace them with appreciation vulgar and embarrassing, as a result of an attempt to observe naked at the spa she had beaten, unable to stay any longer, only to regret: not yet able to control his superhuman strength, he had reduced the dying. She went to visit him in hospital every day, but never apologize, too proud to take the first step, waiting for him to ask forgiveness for the first: after all, had he not tried to peek nothing is happening.
"If you treat so those that make you compliments, you'll be an old maid for life." he mumbled, barely able to speak, in his tone there was no sign of resentment. Now sure of being forgiven, Tsunade had last contract in the face of suffering a naive candor, almost childlike, as if expecting something.
"And you should change the way they express the compliments, if you want to find a woman."
Unexpectedly, the Jiraiya smiled.
"give me advice also? I just won that bet. Now I'm your friend ...?"
Despite the bold attitude, the way he dragged the last speech there was a note of uncertainty: he feared another rejection.
Tsunade's eyes widened, remembering suddenly that old challenge. Annoyed at losing, bit his lip looking for something edgy and offensive reproach, unexpectedly, did not she remembered nothing, saw the years spent together and understood to have left it to win, because he had beaten in the right way.
softened, smiled back.
"Your victory was well deserved." was welcomed, leaning on her bed to fix the pillows, eyes closed, the boy had smacked his lips, leaning out.
"Just a little kiss ..." she whispered, in response, Tsunade's tapped his forehead with his forefinger.
"You said friend." giggled; keep on their toes that way was for her a sort of revenge.
If it had not been blinded by pride would remember the advice of Sarutobi-sensei about the betting that it was better to lose.
"If you have nothing to do ... since we do not have anyone ... so I am free ... you go out with me?"
If Jiraiya had not alluded to his nonexistent love life and had placed the request after having boasted of an imaginary adventure with a beautiful girl but no one had ever noticed, perhaps Tsunade did not refuse the invitation. Or at least, not so hard.
He had nothing against him considered him a good friend and a nice guy and generous time in which the total contempt were far, in spite publish games to pretend to hate each other.
Yet feared to push their relationship beyond just friendship: his hubris concealed a great insecurity that prevented her from moving first. If betting to take the risk entailed only the possible loss of money, in real life it might suffer neglect, humiliation and injury.
He was afraid that Jiraiya was not reliable, then if the premises were those of a possible appointment, he imagined how it would play out: he would use to boast, perhaps inflating the events, and the first occasion, it was also capable of cheating on her.
Accustomed to demand the best, not satisfied with those clumsy and coarse requests for attention and flushed with anger and jealousy when he told her their appreciation of his way or other: idealization, the role of a boy he dreamed and fantasized about a hypothetical model perfect bond and impossible, collided with the harsh reality was refusing once again to work together to build together something solid and durable, fearing a failure, but especially for stubbornness. Wounded pride likened to seeing a lot of girls that lived in Konoha, even knowing full well that it had not, responded by using the only weapon in his possession, that of rejection, well aware of the humiliation it causes. Stubborn, the boy responded by behaving in an even worse, in a succession of teasing, and resentments small revenges for a few brief respite came up again, without looking for results to be as sweet and gentle as possible, but not stirred Tsunade: remembering an insignificant issue unrevenged still refuses, then repenting of your pout and hardness by observing that air those eyes cast down and sad. Full of remorse, but not renege on what was said, he expected that the next time would finally satisfied.
was sure that other opportunities have not failed to miss: someone like Jiraiya did not give up easily, reclining on that fleeting certainty to justify the excessive motions of pride that led it to use it as a toy by testing its ability to resist hiding behind the excuse that the next time both would find the right words. Knowing that she would be back soon, forgetting all unpleasant past, hugely inflated his ego, and together, the pride and stubbornness tend to destroy each other in a game in the massacre that generates only suffering and misunderstanding.
pocketed yet another rejection, Jiraiya spent his nights in seedy premises where no one asked him how old he was and drank, it was surprising to be able to laugh a vacuum, without thinking about anything, while the problems melted away in the warm, soporific vapors that had the 'impression from the ears come out purple. Staggered way home, sometimes vomiting along the way, he passed a closed door marked with a red lantern he had never dared to get in, but he often stopped, curious. Until one night, more demoralized than usual, and counted the money that remained, and with a quivering sigh, it was decided.
The next day he told everyone, especially to Tsunade, wanted them to report that he would rather go out with her a thousand times, but did not want to be teased.
was a stubborn, but he too had his pride.
The war led battles, battles claiming victims. And the losses, more numerous, were a source of untold suffering.
Until the death of his parents, Tsunade had not never pushed to look beyond the events that overwhelms Konoha, but before the brother that went around, asking innocently why mom and dad not coming home, he knew that war meant especially new responsibilities. Lacking even the courage to tell him that they were now orphans, paled at the prospect of taking care of him alone.
Annoyed by the countless questions, Orochimaru had bothered to partly solve the problem: without the slightest regard to choose the right words or modulate the tone of voice, he answered Nawak who had died far from the village and at best the Their corpses were found in a mass grave, the child had responded hitting and insulting, as if it were his fault, and ran away in tears ignoring the comforting words of her elder sister.
the evening had not yet come home. Concerned, Tsunade was out looking for him everywhere and that some had done something stupid she went to Jiraiya in the hope to find some 'help, given the situation, she had forgotten to be angry with him because of his latest exploits.
The boy had told her on the mouth with his forefinger, asking it to silence lay on the couch under a blanket, sleeping Nawak her cheeks streaked with tears. According to her account, she had caught him kicking a light pole and he turned aside to calm him, incredulous and crushed by the weight of events, Tsunade envied him: if the child had chosen to follow a semi-unknown rather than listen to her, as her older sister had a lot to learn.
"It is not difficult if you know how to take it. I like." had explained, receiving in reply the charge of being both the grand convinced you're never wrong. Indulgent, had offered to help again if I needed it.
way home was to bring him in her arms Nawak sleeper, but half way the girl asked for the change: it was a dead weight, but also warm, pulsing with life, with every breath and felt his breath tickle my cheek; Perhaps, in time, it would be fond of her.
Jiraiya held her hand under the arm to help it cope with the brother as he was not strong and probably did not need It's another excuse to touch her, but not bothered. It was strange to walk along the dark streets and deserted, despite the serene silence, with a sleeping child, he could not define what he felt and the scene was very different from its naive and unrealistic dreams, but she did not mind at all.
Nawak If he had not woken up at the end of the trip would embrace Jiraiya to thank him. Embarrassed, he was limited to a casual greeting, so there was always the next time .
few days later the team Sarutobi was sent on a mission in the village of Ame; Jiraiya remained For three years, in order to train a group of orphans without hope. Deprived of his help, had to take care of Tsunade Nawak alone.
But that was why she was missing.
"I could not remember how it was the sun ..."
phrases fact, monosyllabic words and looks distracted after a three-year separation, all of their progress seemed to vanish. Tsunade treated him like a stranger, shooting occasionally glances full of bitterness had taken the distance like a personal affront, almost a betrayal, and refused to forgive him. Instead of trying to clarify, punished him with silence, openly showing displeasure to his departure was equivalent to an explicit admission that he needed him.
Still shaken by the confrontation with the reality of Ame, the boy had stopped teasing, afraid to break that bond is still thin and fragile that united them, mistaking this maturation, Tsunade had come to doubt his interest in her, staring at him, wondering how, and especially with those who had spent all that time.
satisfied to observe from a distance, the Jiraiya was changed: it seemed to be the mother of Nawak, So the love that's reserved, surprised by the discovery of this hidden side of his character, he wondered if he had never been so sweet too with him. Maybe it was unable to prove it but, as he liked, was not only attracted by his appearance physical too materialistic to idealize it, was aware of his tough character, proud and hard, was launched in an idle, and then never hope to conquer it had been so feeble, yet did not give up. On their side had the stubbornness, the same tenacity that had brought him to succeed in reaching ability Orochimaru, the trick was patiently waiting for the right time and in the meantime, settle for the crumbs.
The unexpected and untimely death of Nawak forced them both to a hard collision with reality, Jiraiya had fought so Tsunade did not see that little body disfigured and burned almost beyond recognition, but was not heard. Shaken by the words of Orochimaru, Tsunade could not argue with sobs if not incomprehensible, as the night his brother had run away from home forgot all bitterness, throwing himself into the arms of Jiraiya. The suffering was able to dissolve even pride, reducing it to a silly whim, the boy was the only person who remained.
With a view clouded by her tears, she found herself at a table in a bar with a glass in hand the ability to empty more quickly than would be filled, clutching his companion's arm to cause him pain, because if he would be left plunged into darkness and solitude. Sometimes inconsistencies about Nawak mumbled, blaming his death therefore unable to hold it and repeating the allegations of Orochimaru, that his gift had made a further boost to leap into battle no matter the risks. With infinite patience Jiraiya was listening, perceiving the hidden meaning of those drunken delusions, and whispered in his ear words of comfort.
Shortly before dawn, took her at home, prevented from leaving it alone in those conditions, he would have stayed in another room if she had not begged him not to go in person, reproaching him for having abandoned once before. Disinhibited by alcohol, the words in ordinary conditions, weighed like boulders slid read his lips stained with tears and vomit. Reassuring, the boy was at its side, removing the hair from his brow sweaty and accompanying nausea outdoors if attacked by new, perhaps someone else would take advantage of her condition, but Jiraiya was not unreliable as everyone believed. Grating
aid, Tsunade promised himself that next time would return the favor.
A week later, emerging from a meeting on the outcome of the war, he met Dan
Ambitious as he was stubborn and discreet as Jiraiya Jiraiya was noisy, Dan personified the ideal guy that Tsunade had always wanted. He offered to take her home without being intrusive and the first had told of the death of sister and dreams of becoming Hokage and the girl was reflected in those words, opening as it had never happened with Jiraiya: security to be heard and understood her pride is at rest, satisfied.
From every point of view of their relationship could be said to be perfect, protected from the risks, Tsunade had loved him unconditionally hand in hand, went along with the graves of their relatives, sharing the same suffering. After a few months already started planning the wedding.
Resigned, Jiraiya muttered angrily as a child that Dan had the air of girl for him then to reiterate that women had as many as you wanted, but wondering what we are to Orochimaru Tsunade in a guy like that. Seconded, the boy retorted that at least Dan had a brain.
Although intended only to be caustic, Orochimaru did not differ much from reality: Jiraiya was still terribly childish and, compared to Dan, is no match, alone and in need of certainty, Tsunade merely chose one that offered more guarantees.
If Dan had not died, would probably have held the position of Hokage, Tsunade if she could stop the damn bleeding, aged would be side by side.
The blood smeared hands, still disgustingly hot, red, sticky substance that he hated a pungent smell coming out from his body continuously without stopping, killing him. He hated its function of vital necessity for man, hated to hear it flowing into their veins, he hated being forced to endure every month, she hated him so much to get to be afraid. Without any logic, sobbing that blood gliel'avesse away.
sincerely sorry, Jiraiya had remained close during the funeral, unlike previously suffered bereavement, Tsunade had not sought his comfort. Confused, he pretended not to see it: would not stand by its possible applications for which even she herself knew the answers.
Dan's death was the defeat of all his ambition, consider again Jiraiya meant to take note, head down and start over. Should have provide explanations and excuses for their misbehavior and at the same time, betraying the memory of the dead boyfriend.
He avoided leaving home to escape the gaze of others who, conscious of being wrongly perceived as accusers. Konoha itself seemed to shrink, reducing the size of a cell in which there was no place for excuses and mitigating circumstances behind which was always hidden, for fear of an examination of conscience chose to wallow in their misery, trapped in a constant reminder of Dan and of Nawak.
If the past was suffering, this was pride, a hubris that choked up to plagiarize, preventing it is to face reality. Unable to resist that climate any longer, she ran away from Konoha without a trace.
Surrounded by strangers, he was again free to walk tall: had no idea what was hiding behind that strange gambler who, without ever having risked life, bet without the least fear of losing.
too proud to rectify their mistakes, he had decided to cut two in their lives, apparently seemed to work, yet continued to tremble at the sight of blood. Took refuge in alcohol, instead of diluting the suffering strains, solidifying those who had only vague shapes spectra; drunk Tsunade sobbed that she was to leave it.
not unbuttoned further: if Shizune had sensed that he was not referring to Dan, he would have convinced her to go home, even the brakes in the intoxication of pride could not afford to loose. Until
was far away, the appearance was safe, and his pride was nourished by appearances, never satiated.
The years had not brought any sign on his body, but behind the appearance of hidden were twenty fifty years of experience, the suffering they had hardened and embittered character, making it incredibly cynical and calculating. Disowned its roots, Tsunade moved from town to town, no home, friends and any form of bond that could cause her pain. Remained the only Shizune, who had become a student and employed in his only confidant, loyal and patient to keep him company, comprised of its decisions and, where appropriate, left in peace.
for those seeking to deny their past memories, sharp as many years before, abandoned him, tormenting each time submerged in debt planned to play the series of the grandfather of heirloom Shodaime Hokage and owned by Dan and Nawak, that 'oggettino seemingly insignificant was contained in the whole of Konoha and why he had abandoned. Not having ever run a serious risk, could not play what she remembered the results of their cowardice, and so, as if you autoinfileggesse an exemplary punishment, he continued to bring the link between what was and what was in that this infinite in which he had fled without aging, in a futile attempt to delay the arrival of the future.
She would never expect to see Orochimaru so suddenly, nor to receive such a proposal on his part, was not at all surprised, however, not to find it changed at all: they were like as kids, refusing to cooperate, and as adults they both decided to stop time maintaining his body forever young. Among all three, Jiraiya was the only one who had the courage to grow old.
He never wanted to meet him, especially after Orochimaru had promised to make his own past, did not want to listen to while proposing to put at the head of a village which was now mostly disinterested and did not want to look into the eyes that child who had the noisy side, so like Nawak . Carrying it turned out to be more subtle and clever than Orochimaru, but certainly not at its height had not only challenged to understand how little she cared for Jiraiya Konoha: intended to provide the hard lesson that she had spent years to learn, show that for those who work, as ranting about becoming Hokage and defend the village was not even able to learn a jutsu to protect himself. If he had beaten was ready to give up the necklace, because before such a determination and skill to its previous sufferings were nothing more than nothing, and the memory of Dan and Nawak would have been better in his hands.
In any event, the victory was a foregone conclusion.
If he had learned from previous experiences, he pointed out that although such a stubborn as Naruto excessively overestimated their abilities, his pride led her to underestimate those of others, which is why he lost a bet on the outcome already decided.
Jiraiya the token, obsessed that he does not accept the deal with Orochimaru, if she had hardened while still young, he had remained a child even though immature he had aged. He had abandoned the previous habits, complimenting its beauty and recalling even after they had fifty years now, seated next to her, she behaved just like when they were boys. He was trying to recapture the past but now lost, hypocritical, he had the courage to do the moral pouring drugs into the sake, the woman feels no guilt.
It was decided to accept the proposal received, but faced with the real possibility of revising the people he loved had recalled their dream to protect Konoha at all costs: they would never have accepted a new life for hundreds of deaths. Her love for his village had survived, perhaps hidden in the series that failed to play. Overshadowed by anger and suffering, had never switched off entirely, before the bravery of Naruto, for the first time, Tsunade was ready to risk something other than money, even life itself.
stopped his bleeding, he understood that it can be still useful to Konoha, and if the bodies of Dan and Nawak were only dust, she could at least resurrect their dream by making their own.
To be able to move it, Naruto had deserved that necklace, she tried not kissing him in front of a grudge for losing the bet: just like Jiraiya, he had won the victory by beating loyalty.
He did not get back their past, but moving towards Konoha felt the presence of Nawak revived in Naruto, for a neutral association of ideas, was also connected to Jiraiya Dan
Maybe he should apologize for abandoning him, but at that moment there was no need to reopen a wound now healed . The next time
would have remedied.
was deemed strong and indestructible as the statue of his face carved into the rock, the whole left the matter in the hands of Konoha Tsunade, was considered the pillar on which hung the village, which will solve every problem. The woman had fully understood when he saw the pink haired girl, naive but determined, begging her to teach her the art of medicine, as taking refuge under his wing when he could find the strength to bring him home he loved. Tsunade did not imagine that the person was not fit to breathe the courage, the legend that its resources were infinite certainty was a seductive and illusory, as soothing as fake, a bit 'as his next time .
had ceased to wait for that fateful day in vehemence with which he had marked in his youth, often overwhelmed by the duties of the role of Hokage, ended even to forget, while Jiraiya openly attended other women. Now fifty years old and resigned, both traveled different roads, they met infrequently and always for reasons related to the missions, but they were able to understand each other with few words, as long as a gesture or a joke not too froze the atmosphere.
seemed that their relationship was not destined to evolve, yet when he left to train Naruto, she had felt the lack. Before leaving, but had risen to greet her, without looking in his eyes, it was usually limited to dismiss him, as if it were a normal mission, there was no point wasting time in tearful farewells, considering that he would return soon.
engaging in other activities as possible to keep the mind occupied, Tsunade had waited his return hopelessly trusting in future occasions, three years after he had concealed happiness find him behind the formal speeches on the progress of Naruto and the Akatsuki. Jiraiya has proved he does not consider it nothing but an old girlfriend whose beauty tempted him, so to say too much would be unnecessarily risky and, still reeling from previous experiences, he refused to order established strong ties for fear of losing them immediately. Taking root in the fertile soil of habit and stability, the seed of pride grew more lush than ever; Tsunade preferred to live with uncertainty and hope for a better future, this in vivo if Jiraiya reminded her age, and, consequently, the little time that remained. Instead of rushing, persevered in the hope of a next time. If
Jiraiya had not asked so insistently for a drink, Tsunade probably would have sent on a mission after a discussion in the study sull'Akatsuki Hokage, under ordinary circumstances would never give in to a similar invitation, but at that moment was sufficient to state that he was right to accept: that was really not a lot of drinking sake together. In front of the precarious situation that suggested the imminent war, his pride was almost serene, so leaving them to think with clarity: Jiraiya himself had offered to spy on the moves Akatsuki, but once discovered the hideout of the leader ' Tsunade organization became aware of how much risk he had run. It was the Hokage the task of making a shield to protect the village from hundreds of Shinobi that missions are dangerous, except in case of an attack from within, his duties were limited to the bureaucracy and coordination, there is nothing to do with espionage in a foreign land, if Jiraiya had been in his place would never have planned to go alone against an unknown force from the Ninja. Trying to infuse courage with a subsequent drop of alcohol, the woman apologized for the first time in his life, Jiraiya laughed, interrupting what was supposed to be the beginning of an endless series of requests for forgiveness. Unlike the usual, Tsunade was not bothered by that exit out of place: by avoiding the humiliation, as always had forgiven her. Leaving the original speech
ripercorsero together his past, lost in painful memories, those unexpected apology had broken the last barrier that separated them, bringing them closer in sufferings. Meanwhile, Tsunade drank beyond any reasonable limit: distorted by confusion, its the fault appeared less severe. He had calculated that
tanned like that would not find reasonable arguments to stop it, playing the last card in his possession, confessed they did not want to miss. On the verge of tears was abandoned altogether, he had dropped any defense that was left and, after repenting quell'inopportuno reference to Dan, had returned to the usual hardness would never want to call it stupid, but hit the target, was protected by this insult not just to tell him the truth.
If Jiraiya had got the answer we expect, perhaps would never have started, flattered by the spontaneous revelation, the woman offered to bet on his death. Thanks to this method was able to become his friend, was worth groped luck a second time, had it not been interrupted in mid-sentence would also set an appropriate reward, but did not want to destroy the few who clung to the hope with yet another, unequivocal denial. To receive would have enough time to return: instead of pushing it to surrender, over the years had strengthened, the steadfastness brought some results, otherwise she would never offer to help meet you. It was just keep going and never give up: after all, was a stubborn.
had to thank its obstinacy, that even in very desperate situations kept him confident against Tsunade, was certain to win.
Watching the rain fall, Tsunade was waiting for him, agitated to see him while he was willing to lose the bet: in the confusion, the man had changed the subject and gone into the last word had to teach him a lesson.
was too proud to leave a question open: As soon as he returned he removed all that nonsense about the fortified through the wastes as the argument, even a stubborn as he would be happy to see each other contradicted.
reason she had come back and she was waiting for him, even an idiot like he could understand it.
For many years he had waited until the next time , on his return, he would have made the right occasion.
Even Jiraiya was so stupid to ruin it.
***
Tsunade drank.
As stunned, had maintained a vague perception of reality: at times he wondered how many bottles he had purchased, how long was sitting there and how many people were around to look, though can not maintain the correct account, the word too provided the answer to every question. Still did not get up.
Many years before, Jiraiya had led in that space to help combat the pain of the death of Nawak: even at that time refused to get up if not clutching his arm, now that there was no arm support her, she had nothing to cling to the wood. Out of that room warm, bright and confusing awaited the darkness of night, deserted streets to be traveled alone, without having to endure tasteless jokes and clumsy attempts to approach. He had repeated all the time to stop, to end it, should rejoice essersene released.
Jiraiya was right in saying that he had never been happy.
stifled a sob with another drink, loneliness was waiting outside, but had no money until the meeting could have delayed further orders.
Suffering instead did not wait: he was sitting nearby, in the place he once occupied Jiraiya, and grinned satisfied.
In the end, had won. Tsunade had believed to be able to work around, relying exclusively on their own pride had shown the most convenient way, in which not enough risk to be protected, deceit, deceitful. He had disappeared once performed its task, ceased to protect with that barrier of hardness does not provide an excuse, Mitigating and justifications, no such hearing was nothing but an ordinary woman, alone and drunk.
Pride was a traitor, a double agent, for years had distorted the reality and had put words in my mouth that would never want to say, the illusion of being safe.
looked a bit 'to alcohol, perhaps that was why he was not able to stop drinking. Continued to swallow that a surrogate for their own downfall, hating and dependent on it at the same time, somehow helped her, dulling any sensation.
Suffering, by contrast, was brutally honest, as Tsunade pretended not to hear the whispered tirelessly why did not risk it pride that she called was none other than fear.
had always been a coward: all his actions had been dictated by fear of failing, of being judged, and if they had not failed to hide his tears in front of Naruto.
He would never have imagined, but Jiraiya was proud, that for years had called blind stubbornness was pride, the best thing, by which he had never given up. The real point of pride was a virtue, and without, would not have endured all these years.
probably had also accepted death calmly; Tsunade could not know, but wanted to believe it. While agreeing that it would have been wrong, did not intend to listen to the insinuations of suffering, that man had hated until his last breath.
against him Tsunade had always won. It was his philosophy of life: even if the actual gain was nothing compared to the loss, the important thing was to win and save his face.
Among the fumes of alcohol, he remembered the teachings of Sarutobi-sensei about the betting that it was better to lose; Jiraiya had arrived before her. He had spent
that interminable day cursing at the sight of children playing together, couples and families serene clumsy, stumbling in trying to get up, now aware that no one would have sustained the most overlooked, even Tsunade cursed their pride lied to them, failing to be one of the many masks of fear.
was time to go out to face the loneliness. Inexplicably, she felt no fear: the pain was at his side and would never abandoned, as it seemed she was not alone. Lacking a
next time to wait, he needed company.
© Vasco Rossi: "Libero Liberati"
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